Softening the tone of questions with "ne"

We have seen before that 吧 can be used soften the tone of statements, them commands feel more like suggestions. 呢 works the same, but it is used to modify the tone of a question, making it more indirect and uncertain.

呢 used successively with 还是

呢 can be used in the following structure:

V + N + 呢+ 还是 V + N + 呢 +(还是...)

• 去 缅甸 呢，还是 去 越南 呢？还是 去 泰国呢？我 得 想 一 想！
• 打 电脑 游戏 呢，还是 跟 朋友 去 泡 酒吧呢，都 不 太 好！

The example sentences above almost have a tone that the speaker is talking to him/herself, as the question is not directly asked at the listener.

呢 with questions involving interrogative pronouns (哪儿，谁，怎么，什么 etc.)

• 这 是 谁 的 笔呢? (I wonder whose pen this is)
• 这 是 谁 做 的呢? (I wonder who did this?)

In the previous example, the speaker has a tone of conjecture, a bit like saying "I wonder" in English. Again, as in the first example, the question is not directly asked at the listener.

呢 with "verb 不 verb" questions

If a "verb 不 verb" question is posed without 呢, it can appear as though the speaker is a bit impatient, or is ordering the listener to do something. This of course depends on the tone of voice used. Adding 呢 can give a tone of uncertainty, and is more polite.

• 你 去 不 去 逛街？ (Well are you going to go shopping or what??)
• 你 去 不 去 逛街呢？(Are you going to go shopping?)
• 牛奶 你 喝 不 喝？ (Said to a child, with the implication that if the milk isn't drunk, there will be consequences, with emphasis placed on 喝)
• 牛奶你喝不喝呢？ (Perhaps said to a friend, with no implication of coercion. Perhaps you want to clear away their cup)
• 你周末能不能加班？(Perhaps a manager asking a subordinate. This is not too direct, as 能 has been added. Saying 你加不加班 would seem more like an order)
• 你周末能不能加班呢？(Quite indirect, something like "Would you mind coming in on the weekend?")

Again, the above sentences depends on context, and the interpretations given are just examples.

Sources and further reading

===外国人实用汉语语法(中英文对照) (A Practical Chinese Grammar for Foreigners)

pp.139-141===